I WON, I CHOOSE RIGHT.

I apologize to my faithful readers who have asked me severally if I have abandon my blog, the answer is no. Although sometimes I feel like am so consumed with my publications and forget about sharing my thoughts, the truth is I made a promise to write just as it is and when something happens and I can’t share it the way it is, I choose not to write. I don’t want to be in the same situation with same people I have complained about, I believe the things I couldn’t share happened so I can understand the other perspective of writing, Some people have to make things up just because they don’t want to be Judged. As I fellowship today and I was having the thought of defeat and I could hear in my spirit, just because I choose right doesn’t mean I was defeated, Rather I am the winner. Some people think am a religious writer, the answer is no but my spirituality is part of me, so there is no way am going to write about my thoughts and leave that part of me, In fact my spirituality is my inspiration for doing what I love. Have you ever felt like just because you choose to make peace with someone who wronged you, you feel defeated? Or just because you let someone have their way and choose to do the right thing and they make you feel like they defeated you and you accept it. This morning I realize that just because I choose right makes me a winner. It leaves me free of guilt of doing the wrong thing and the supposed winner is still trap in the agony of their choice. The worst way of judging happiness, is judging from the face. It is deeper than that, it radiates from the inside and rub off on the people around you, then you won’t have to announce it, people see and feel it. I know it’s easier for us to go ask for forgiveness from some we have wrong but it harder to go reconcile with someone who has wronged us and sometimes when we try, we do it the wrong way. We condemn them and hope that makes us feel better. Ask yourself, does it make you feel better? Apostle Paul says in Romans 14:19 “Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another”. We are to approach peace through humility at the expense of our pride. It is the only way to see true reconciliation. Pride defends. Humility agrees and says, “You are right, I have acted this way, Please forgive me. That’s the wisdom from above.

The whole point is,” if it is possible as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men Romans 12:18” Either you are the right or wrong one, seek peace and do it the right way especially if you desire peace. Its unavoidable, this things trouble us, when you seek peace, it is for your sake and not the other person, you have chosen right therefore you are the winner not a looser don’t let the wrong thoughts lie to you. Sometimes it seems like am been unrealistic writing the impossible, I agree it’s hard but know for sure, when I write it I am willing to give it a shot. I refuse to be hindered by offense, bitterness, pain, betrayal and hurts that come from feeling defeated. I am a winner, I choose right.

SIKEMI....More than a Friend.

I know Lapeju and Bugy will agree with me on this post. You are a different person to each one of us, yet you just You. Often times when people walk into our lives, we can't estimate how long they would be there. Just like yesterday at Seico, I was in my shell and you found me. OSU's journey seems like a coincidence but now I know its God's preplanned journey for us all.

Oh guys (Bukola & Lapeju) am writing this on behalf of us, I cant totally describe your thoughts but sharing this journey with you I do have an idea, Pls I urge you to add the areas I dint touch.

Right from the beginning it felt more like you are more than a friend. And today that's what it is. Your home is ours, Your family Our family. A lot of times we know God Has special being HE created, not because they don't have flaws but the way He made them "UNCOMMON". I must have mentioned how much you remind me of Aunty Peju until I found out you share same month. As much as you remind me of her, you both occupy different space in my World.

Now am diverting, back on track this is suppose to be a special birthday wish for a wonderful Sister.

Our Prayer " Everything got started in HIM and finds its purpose in HIM. Today we celebrate what HE planned before you ever existed. Your life is a blessing given by God's Loving hands. We pray today and everyday that you will move forward armed with Faith $ Love, Discovering the blessings HE has set forth for you... Remembering that we love you but more importantly that HE does. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE." Words aint enough to express our Joy and Gratitude for having you in our Lives. We just Celebrate Him in You.

GOODBYE 2011

Its barely 7days to go and I already feel like goodbye. Woke up reflecting on as much event as I could remember in the year. The Joy, the pain, the Love, hurts, growth, disappointment, betrayal, inspiration and the list is endless. Luther sang "RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE" LIFE CAN TREAT YOU GOOD AND TURN AS COLD AS ICE. Life brings so much to us but in all this we shape or break our existence.

All the good and bad are what made us who we are right now. Have you had time to think about how you lived this year? The things you wish to change, the change you have made. As much as I feel bad about some decisions I made, Am proud of myself for some. The imbalance of Life keeps us going. I don't wanna bore you but use this medium to reach as many as I can. For everyone who has caused me pain, I receive strength to Forgive, for all I have caused Pain in this year I seek for forgiveness. For all those who has inspired me and that i have inspired, I pray for more Grace. For every Joy have had, I give God Praise. For Growth in my Spiritual life I owe it to God. For every friend have made, I love you,To my main crew (Pj,bugy & BK) I love you more. How can I forget my BB group Comedy Central,Its a source of laughter when am feeling blue and all the true friends i made from CC,KEEP THE FIRE BURNING. I cant mention you all but everyone who has made an Impact in my life this year, am blessed to have you in my life. To those who're gone, Its for an appointed time. "no hates" To My wonderful Baba Arike, My Special Unc D & BESTEST Aunty Pj, you all rock my World. Iya Arike aint left in this Journey, GOD bless you all. To my jewel (MO) My life is incomplete without you.

I SPEAK TO YOU 2012, I WILL LIVE BETTER, LOVE HARDER, INSPIRE MORE, GET STRONGER IN YOU LORD, WORK MORE, ACHIEVE GREATER AND BE MUCH MORE THAN I CAN EVEN IMAGINE. FROM ME ITS HAPPY NEW YEAR NOW....ITS INDEED A DECEMBER TO REMEMBER,AM THANKFUL.

FORGIVE YOURSELF!!!

When you check my previous post (FORGIVE & FORGET), My focus was more on others. Today I feel its even easier to forgive others than ourself. Personally when something little happen, I go back to my mistakes and I keep condemning my self. I hear people lie to themselves and blame others for their own mistakes but when I self examine, I blame myself more than I blame people. I believe for every wrong people do to us, we have our own contribution, we allowed it. But today I have a different notion, its ok to self examine, access your wrongs and correct it for future occurrence but don't dwell on it, that's the root of bitterness.

Let me ask you? How many times have you blamed yourself for a mistake? Tell me! when you do, does it change anything? of cos not, it only makes you weary and down and sometimes slow you down from forging ahead. I urge you, try as much as you can to feel bad about your mistakes and wrong decisions but don't stay there. This is not automatic! Am a witness. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn from it and continue your Journey. The bible says in Matt 18:21-23 "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. We cant achieve the above if we live in self condemnation. I am going to try it from this minute to Forgive myself

. My post are about me but this particular one is truly me. We all need this prayer of SERENITY!

DR I kept this very close to my heart, its strength for me in all this.....THANK YOU.

A CLEAN SLATE!!!!!

I don’t know why the heart doesn’t do what the mind tells it. Often we let our pain and emotions rule over us, rather if we use our head we would come with a better result. If you desire a fresh start you need to clean your slate. Yes CLEAN YOUR SLATE- its not as easy as it reads, it very painful but the end result is perfect. On a Monday morning rather than work I felt like breakfast outside somewhere with people I can be real with, not where I have to pretend to be laughing but deep inside am in pain. The best quite time I have is when am driving alone to no where or somewhere, that few minutes I have with myself is so precious and realistic. This morning I remember when I was a kid n lost in my lonely World, dint have a relationship with God but I know there is someone called God who created. I use to ask who am I? Who is God? Who are the people around me? I don’t know if anyone ever felt like that. A state of mind when you are so lost in your creation. I feel so selfless, careless, carefree, and heartless; I don’t know the best words to describe my feeling. The only way I express my self now is write the words in my thought! Wait a minute, how real can one write ones tot? What life do we live in when we have to fake everything, even the way we feel? Ever had days when your mind and thought is so blank you begin to ask yourself what’s happening to you. Searching for answers within yourself, asking am I acting someone else’s character, what happened to me?

Can’t remember if this has happened in a very long time but it’s been 3days now and I don’t know who I am? Tots are blank, I am blank… am trying to do the usual just to get back to myself but I don’t know how…Does this happen to you? Am speaking to my inner voice asking what’s wrong with me? Things I see my self do, don’t know if I would do them normally. Rather than stay at work I just want to get my tots out maybe it would help me concentrate. I feel like am trapped in someone else’s skin or someone else’s is trapped inside of me. Anyone wondering how I decided to update my blog if I don’t know who this is or does anyone feel me? Does any one understand what am saying? Has anyone of you felt like this? I don’t even know what to pray…… What’s wrong with me? I hear only the words I write because its words from my tot! Isn’t there room for a fiction writer who can write real life events just as they are, Raw fictions not just writing for peoples interest? I even get surprised, people claiming they are writing their biography but it’s not as true as it should be. A friend of mine often says my generation is waiting to be mentored by me. Mentored wit what, the lives that we live these days? Hell no…. I aint gonna be party to leading people through this fake life of ours. Let’s teach the imperfect us and not just the perfect. When you pray about something or someone praying a prayer of revelation for u, pause before you say Amen, cos I tell you sometimes you can’t handle the revelations you get…. TO BE CONTINUED.

Not Easily Broken

I cant forget part of the lyrics of Mary Mary's song which say " Come to far from where I started from, nobody told me the road would easy, BUT TRULY AM SAYIN THIS NOW LORD I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T BROUGHT ME THIS FAR TO LEAVE ME"

I read the T.d Jakes book not easily broken, I even watched the Movie and cried so much. Reflecting back right now I realise, we re who we're for certain reason or reasons. oh I say it a lot am such a baby but lookin back uptil this minute, I can say this it takes only a strong person to still be standing. Challenges are there for a reason I agree, when it happens it seems like we cant overcome it but with the great Overcomer, Its doable.

A BIG THANK YOU LORD, from January, I thank you for every hour, every minute, every seconds, my wrong decisions, the right one, my pain, my joy, the people around me and most of all the gift of life.. Sekemi I believe it more now when you say am a strong one, I don't see myself like that...........I owe it all unto the giver of my tender heart yet making me strong. I love you Lord more and more I am grateful for your work in me.

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes And the flash of my teeth, The swing of my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them, They say they still can't see. I say It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, The palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Best of Maya Angelou.....I am a Phenomenal woman are you?