A CLEAN SLATE!!!!!

I don’t know why the heart doesn’t do what the mind tells it. Often we let our pain and emotions rule over us, rather if we use our head we would come with a better result. If you desire a fresh start you need to clean your slate. Yes CLEAN YOUR SLATE- its not as easy as it reads, it very painful but the end result is perfect. On a Monday morning rather than work I felt like breakfast outside somewhere with people I can be real with, not where I have to pretend to be laughing but deep inside am in pain. The best quite time I have is when am driving alone to no where or somewhere, that few minutes I have with myself is so precious and realistic. This morning I remember when I was a kid n lost in my lonely World, dint have a relationship with God but I know there is someone called God who created. I use to ask who am I? Who is God? Who are the people around me? I don’t know if anyone ever felt like that. A state of mind when you are so lost in your creation. I feel so selfless, careless, carefree, and heartless; I don’t know the best words to describe my feeling. The only way I express my self now is write the words in my thought! Wait a minute, how real can one write ones tot? What life do we live in when we have to fake everything, even the way we feel? Ever had days when your mind and thought is so blank you begin to ask yourself what’s happening to you. Searching for answers within yourself, asking am I acting someone else’s character, what happened to me?

Can’t remember if this has happened in a very long time but it’s been 3days now and I don’t know who I am? Tots are blank, I am blank… am trying to do the usual just to get back to myself but I don’t know how…Does this happen to you? Am speaking to my inner voice asking what’s wrong with me? Things I see my self do, don’t know if I would do them normally. Rather than stay at work I just want to get my tots out maybe it would help me concentrate. I feel like am trapped in someone else’s skin or someone else’s is trapped inside of me. Anyone wondering how I decided to update my blog if I don’t know who this is or does anyone feel me? Does any one understand what am saying? Has anyone of you felt like this? I don’t even know what to pray…… What’s wrong with me? I hear only the words I write because its words from my tot! Isn’t there room for a fiction writer who can write real life events just as they are, Raw fictions not just writing for peoples interest? I even get surprised, people claiming they are writing their biography but it’s not as true as it should be. A friend of mine often says my generation is waiting to be mentored by me. Mentored wit what, the lives that we live these days? Hell no…. I aint gonna be party to leading people through this fake life of ours. Let’s teach the imperfect us and not just the perfect. When you pray about something or someone praying a prayer of revelation for u, pause before you say Amen, cos I tell you sometimes you can’t handle the revelations you get…. TO BE CONTINUED.

HANDS OF TIME

Sincerely how many times has any one of you reading this wish you could turn back the hands of time on a particular issue. How many times have you wished someone could live for longer or if someone could stay longer in your life, maybe you would have done things differently? Last week my friend posted a picture on her BB “DP” and wrote gone too soon, I asked her what happened,How could this cute face be gone? Are you for real? And she told me don’t you remember him in school. I have a very faint memory of him but yet no one wish to lose a friend especially not that young. Yesterday I saw his wedding ring and found out he got married early this year. I began to wonder, how is she feeling right now? What are the things on her mind she wish she did? if only it ever cross her mind he would only be with her for a very short while...am sure she wish she can undo that day, she wish he dint go out, she wish the bullet hit someone else and not him. How many people have left our lives through death and other unforeseen circumstances and we wish we can undo our actions? How many people have lost someone so close to them and her struggling to recover?

I have things I wish I can redo, But have learnt that some of the wrong decisions we make are like death. We can’t bring the love ones we have lost back BUT we can do something, LIVE FOR THE MOMENT....live every moment of your life like it’s your last. Relate with your love ones like you want, the moment you realise you have gone wrong Correct it immediately..You only have the moment, you can’t turn back the hands of time. Be remembered for the best and true you can be, most of all have the right relationship with the Maker.

Dedicated to all of you who have lost someone very special to death or other tragic circumstances......

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size But when I start to tell them They think I'm telling lies. I say, It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It's the fire in my eyes And the flash of my teeth, The swing of my waist, And the joy in my feet. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can't touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them, They say they still can't see. I say It's in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Now you understand Just why my head's not bowed. I don't shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing It ought to make you proud. I say, It's in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, The palm of my hand, The need of my care, 'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That's me. Best of Maya Angelou.....I am a Phenomenal woman are you?